...Burning Star IV

 ok, today was BUSY!!!!!! first off, no work, so i had the day off! second, i had a shitload of xmas money to spend, and i set out this morning to do just that!

before i begin, i wanted to list my xmas haul for the year... i think i got some pretty good shit, even if it was a light xmas season... i got too much shit in my stocking to list, but top of the list items included rechargable AA and AAA batteries, mucho Axe stuffs, and of course, Reese's Cups :)

for the main haul, i got a nice pair of khakis, also two new games for PC (a first in my xmas history! i very rarely get games for xmas) i got Rainbow Six 3: Raven Shield, and The Sims 2: Nightlife Expansion Pack... also, new CDs, i got Coheed and Cambria's newest album, Good Apollo, I'm Burning Star IV: Volume One: From Fear Through The Eyes of Madness, and Disturbed's latest album, Ten Thousand Fists... both of which are great albums! and i made off pretty good with some xmas cash, about $150 in green, and $35 in giftcards (to the same store, hot topic, no doubt :) )

as if that wasn't great enough, i went and spent all my xmas money today on a few more things :) we spent basically all DAY in harrisonburg... me, scott, ryan, and later on, john too. we were in the mall, and wal mart, circuit city, we even made a layover in Grands furniture for free coke and comfy seating... i spent all the cash i had on me (minus about $10 for later spending), and got some rather kool shit too. i got a pair of Tripp redtrim jeans, an iron cross/skull belt buckle, and a Coheed and Cambria tshirt at hot topic with my giftcards and some extra money, got new DC shoes, two more new games (Need for Speed Underground 2, and Land of the Dead: Road to Fiddler's Green), new ear rings, a Wall Mount for my guitar, and a box of clementine oranges!!!

i'd say i had a damn good xmas!

hope everyone else had a merry xmas, and have a happy new year, for the sake of being cliche.....

BHC

 i want to say so much, but with the last two posts draining my creative efforts, i really can't come up with the words... it's all weighing heavy on my mind, and i want to get it out, but if i sit here and just start typing, none of it will make any sense, and will more than likely confuse those people it's meant for...

she's having it so rough right now... things are just hard for her... life is tearing her apart and burning what remains, and it's like there's nothing i can do about it... i mean, i know there isn't anything i can do to control the fates, but it's like there's nothing i can do for her, either, you know, to ease her pain... hell, i want to take it all away, i'd take it on myself if i had to... just so she'd smile again... i'm trying my damndest right now, and i dunno, it just seems like she shuts me out... i know i'm stressing her at a *socially crippling* time... i don't know, i just guess in my head, i think it's gonna do her good to have me around...

there i go with the selfish shit again...

it's usually all about me... i mean, boil this down... look at it for what it really is, you'll see it's just my dire attempt to get her back into my life... for me, you know... cuz i know it'd do me a helluva lot of good to have her in my life... this has been my issue for the longest time now... i guess maybe i just think in my head that i'm really being selfish, maybe the rest of you see this and think otherwise... or maybe you're all too kind to give me a fucking slap in the face, and wake my ass up to the fact that, yes, i am selfish, and the only reason i want her is for me...

but that's not true either...

i want to be part of her life... i want to give her all that i have to offer, like i wanted to when we were first together... i want to be there for her when she needs me... scratch that, needs somebody... because it's not about me... it's about her, and what she wants...

and maybe she just doesn't want me... no no, i'm sorry, that's something i will not accept... even if it's the truth, i can't accept that, for my own sake, no matter how selfish that is... if she truely doesn't want me, then fine, but i have to keep believing in my head that she does, otherwise, i'll lose it...

i mean, yeah, i want answers to all the questions i've proposed in the past two nights... but i don't want to push it... but i'm impatient... and it's killing me to see her like this, she's totally crushed... God, i love her so much... this is making me sick... like her pain is somehow being transcended into my pain... i just want to see her be happy again, i want to hear her laugh, and see her smile... and if i have to do that from afar, like i've done this past year, then so fucking be it...

see?

has any of this made a single iota of sense???

i need a fucking drink...

 it's 2:30, xmas morning...

i have this song stuck in my head... it's called "Mercy Me" by Alkaline Trio... it's a good one, dl it if you get the chance...

i'm sitting here, alone, in a quiet house... and i'm wondering... i just put all the presents under the tree... in a few hours, dad will be here... we'll do the gift thing... wrapping will be torn asunder, pacakges opened, mysteries unwrapped... and i'm wondering... after all the papers thrown away, and the food is all gone, after the relatives have gone back home... and i'm sitting here, alone, and i'm wondering...

of all the great gifts i'm getting, and the great gifts i've given... will i get the one true thing i've wished for this christmas season? and will i be able to give the one thing i've been dying to give all year? it's like the toy you see in the window, that you know you'd love to have for yourself, but you know it would make someone else on your list so much happier... and seeing them happy with it is better than having the toy yourself... and that's all that really matters...

and i'm just wondering...

Merry Christmas to All...

BHC

 this is out of the ordinary for me, but it's for someone who really needs to know...

i want you back in my life more now than i think i ever have... it's been years since we were together for Xmas... i know i wasn't best i could have been in the past, but you made a good point... we never really fought... we watched each other change over the years, and though you may not know it, even when we weren't together, i still watched you from afar, and saw what i was missing and what i lost... we had good times and bad times, and every relationship has that, and i'm standing here today telling you that we won't have bad times if we get back together... that's a promise i KNOW i can't keep. bad things happen, but together, we can make the best of them. alone, they tear us apart.

i know now you meant it as a spiteful gesture, putting that ring back on your finger... but i have to confess, my heart leapt when i saw it... it looks just as beautiful on your finger as it did that christmas day i put it on there so long ago... you do remember that was christmas right? and i remembered that it was a promise ring... and i promised to be with you, always...

and i broke that promise for some stupid fucking reasons... if i sat here and told you i wouldn't have changed my mind if i had to go through that night again, i'd be a liar and a fake... and that's what you told me, that you didn't want me to be fake... you said that you didn't want me to change for you, well, dammit, i want you enough to make some sacrifices... i know in the end, all the changes i make will seem trivial and material to what is truely important...

i miss the times we had together, both the good, and the bad... because you can't have one without the other... i miss christmas with you... and birthdays, valentine's day... i miss watching movies with you, and watching chickflicks that i otherwise wouldn't have watched, if i couldn't have been with you, holding you in my arms... i miss your family and my family getting along together so well... that meant so much to us, to have their full support...

i miss you... please, come back to me...

you say that maybe i should wait, as you have some rough times ahead for you... i say, why wait? why should i not be there for you, as much as i can, in the most meaningful way? when you need a shoulder to cry on, why should i turn and walk away? when you need someone to talk to you, why should i stop listening? why, when you need someone in your life to help you shoulder the burden, should that person "wait"? i want to be there for you through your rough times, to prove to you that i can handle that... i want to comfort you, and be your shoulder to cry on...

i'm not making a stand here... i'm not saying, this is how it is, and i see no other reason why we should be together... i'm not saying that logic proves it, and you have no other reason to not be with me...

rather, i'm saying, this is how it is, and when the day is done, i'll still be here... and i'll still love you... and i'll still want to be with you... i'm saying that over the years, my love for you has not faded... it's just not had the chance to grow... i'm only saying, i want that chance.

i love you.

BHC

 long fucking day again... more of this 8 hours on my feet shit... i did find out that i get three hours added to my paycheck for the TIPS class i attended yesterday.... so YAY on that...

after work, i met up with the friends at Waffle Inn... it's our hangout spot... i seriously think if they closed shop and tore it down, we'd be sad... mostly because then the only other place we'd have to hang out after hours would be Wal-Mart, but we share memories in that place...

and speaking of wal-mart, john, dave and myself headed out there after waffle inn... LOL we had been talking about the movie Scarface there, and by the time me and John got to Wal-Mart, we were both laughing about every line in the movie, and walking around, talking like Tony Montana!!! it was hilaious... also, in pure celebration of the Xmas spirit:

*insert picture of myself with lagre bottle of xmas spirit*

getcha some xmas spirits :)

BHC

 yay i can legally sell beer in VA now :) well, actually, i was always able to sell it, as VA has no laws governing the training of ABC off premises sellers, so long as they are 16 years of age, they can sell it in a store, without training... so i guess the whole thing was really unnessecery... the only reason that Sheetz has their new hires go through training is to cover their own asses in the event of an underaged sale... they literally told us today that Sheetz trains us in AlchBev classes so that we take the full wrap and they don't pay a dime in the event of a lawsuit.... kinda bullshit, but i'm kool with it :)

and then, god, xmas shopping... at the MALL... and Target... god, and 4 days before xmas! it was a fucking nuthouse.... i ran out of gas almost on the way home, but i got all my friends presents covered and still have a little left for gas tomorrow....

i'm SOOOOO much closer to beating NFS:U!!!! like, less than ten races left!!! the RX-7 is really working out well :) i've totally tricked it out, all the upgrades for the performance, even a few unique ones, which are more powerful than the regular upgrades....

yeah, cuz you needed to know that....

anyways, Scarface is on right now, and i'm finally catching it from the begining, so this is it for now i guess :)

BHC

 so i am making my first offical drunk post of this new blog :) enjoy :)

i had that mint cookie drinky thingy, and two coors lights, and i'm STILL buzzing!!!!

i IM'd Erin, my friend from HS from oh so long ago.... you know i still have feelings for her... it's funny, when you say that, and you haven't seen the person in a long time... you have to wonder, does that mean you still have feelings for her? or does it simply mean the feelings you had have transcended and haven't changed, even though she may be totally different? it's weird, and not something to ponder while drunk....

my head is still rolling around on the base of my neck... you know, that feeling where you can just let your head flop around, and roll your eyes back??? i love that :)

so, conclusion, BEER GOOD

BHC

P.S: you think the muggafugga who made the damn postkeys would have used an algorithm that didn't allow for lower case L's or upper case I's to be used, so they wouldn't be confused for one another!!!! GRRRR BITCH!!!!

 ok so not alot of anything happened today... except yet another 8-hour shift at work... i'm really proud of the fact that i just finished 3 straight 8-hour days... i've never pulled this much time at work in my whole carreer history! it's insane, and the money is gonna be NICE! also, i've never sold cigarettes before... just kind of a little perk... it's weird, you start recognizing customers by what brand they smoke... this one guy comes in every few day, a mexican dude, doesn't speak english well, but his little 6-7 year old daughter (i'm guessing it's his gfs/wifes kid, cuz she's stark white) she know exactly what kind of smokes he gets... kinda sad... but i got a laugh out of it...

i have to go to a T.I.P.S. class tomorrow in h'burg... it's a AlchBev meeting for new Sheetz hires, so they can be trained to sell beer and wine in the stores... it'll be really nice to get that out of the way too, because people are getting pissed off at me not being able to ring up beers.... one guy got pretty mad the other day about it.... asshole... but after tomorrow, that'll be no problem...

i just fixed myself another delicious mint cookie drink :) damn these things are GREAT!!!

after the class tomorrow, i have some xmas shopping to do for family and friends and such... hope i can remember what i want to get everyone :)

also, i've been playing alot more need for speed: underground, and i've been stuck on this one race, where it just seems the computer drivers were simply out performing me... i've raced this one like, at LEAST 100 times, and no matter what, they simply outperform me... but, after my drag race test a few nights ago, i figured out which car would have the pure raw power to possibly give me an edge... and to my surprise, it was a Mazda RX-7.... first race with that car, BAM, victory! hot damn, it was sweet, so now i think i'm off to play more of that...

oOo and i'm drinking and alcoholic beverage whilst driving on the computer... funny enough, in my previous experiances with that, i've actually driven BETTER.... :? go figure!

BHC

 it would seem someone got wise the the tBlog Hot Blog secret sauce, and i've somehow miraculously shown up at the number 3 spot on the list...

i went to bed last night at like 4:30, after staying up and drag racing every single car in NFS:U like, 60 times... just out of bordem...

i got up at 1, cashed my check, and went to work at 2, st jimmy came in the visit me at 3ish, i went on break at 7ish, and got out of work at 10... i got home about 30 minutes later, and i plan on going to bed early tonight, cuz i have to get up and do it all over again tomorrow.....

yay

BHC

 so my second REAL day of WORK! finally, i am RID of all that damned computer based training, i finally spent an ENTIRE SHIFT on the sales floor, for damn near 8 hours straight! it went by so fast too! we stay busy constantly, so there's hardly any downtime to make the hours seem to creep by... but at the end of it, i could tell i'd been standing on hard tile and linoleum for 7.42 hours.... my knees and my feet feel like the could explode at any minute...

and what's even cooler, i got to work, and my manager Josh, hands me an envelope and says "Merry Xmas from Sheetz!" i've barely been with the company a month and i already got my xmas bonus!!!! a $15 Sheetz card, which i used on lunch, and topped off my gas tank after i left... yes, i already spent my xmas bonus!

and what's even COOLER?!?!?!?!? i got home, and mom found my very first SHEETZ PAYCHECK!!!! WOO-WOO!!!! a whole staggering $78!!!! HOLY SHEEP SHIT!!!! lol, i made me happy though, cuz i have about $8 left in my checking account, and it's been that way for a week or so... LOL

so yeah i'm pretty happy with the new job... Josh gave me a set of days to come in and work (my first schedule :) ), and by friday i'll have put in another 32 hours!!! he gave me work all the way till next thursday, and then another paycheck comes out that day (gets delivered in the mail... how fucking kool is that???), i'm even working a little 4 hour number on Xmas Eve... it's time and a half too, so that like making $12.75/hr for 4 hours!!!

also, i have to go to a meeting for new hires on the 21st... its basically a class lecture on the legalities of selling alcohol.... the nice thing is, once i take it, i'll be able to sell beer and wine at the store :) rocking! of course, i have no intentions of selling to minors, so don't even fucking ask me :)

that's all for right now, but i have an intresting question to propose... which Video Game Console System had the best run of really really awesome fighting games??? games like mortal kombat, street fighter and the like... i'm wondering if anyone knows the best system for that kind of gameplay... those are really the only kinds of console games i'm good at, because the controls are the same as like, arcade versions... i'm thinking i might buy a good console and play some good old fashioned beat 'em up games for xmas :)

BHC

1 1/2 oz Just Desserts Chocolate Mint Cookie Cream Liqueur
1 oz Absolut Vanilla Vodka

oh my fucking god......

:D

BHC

 ok! so the movie weekend went as planned, and i'm most pleased to say, WE FUCKING FINISHED IT!!!! seriously, in my (short) film making career, we have NEVER finished a movie in one day, let alone, ONE NIGHT!!! it was so fun, especially doing half of my scenes half drunk :) loosened me up a bit, i was able to flow the lines a little better... i got to jaime's house around like, 3, but him and john had to get to a postponed exam around 6, so i chilled out at jaime's place till they got back, and then, the fun started!

we filmed the scenes, in order, until about 4am... after two pretty good bouts of drinking :) and we just fucking rocked! jaime's got alot of really good ideas and shit for scripts and movies and such, he's really good with the camera, and he a great guy to just fuck around with... we had great fun filming this thing!

we hope to have our own personal copies by New Years, and (unbeknownst to me) we are going to send the film into an independent film festival!!! people are gonna SEE this movie!!! jaime even mentiond that me and john get 5% payoffs on what ever the movie makes, which is totally fucking kool, but i would have done the movie wether i got paid or not! :)

so that's my weekend... drunk and making movies.... :) looking to close off tonight with maybe some bowling and some waffle inn action... of course, i'll be drinking tea or something else... i've sworn off coffee... and then i'm gonna try and work a full day tomorrow... i've been slacking about it, and just need to go in there and do it.... hopefully they'll put me on a schedule i can work with soon... that would be great :)

also, i just noticed i screwed up my good run by not posting anything yesterday... if i had, i'd have been that much closer to making a post every day this month... oh well, it's a good start anyways, for me just getting back in the blogosphere :) i must be doing something right though.... seeing as i NUMBER 10 ON THE HOT BLOGS PAGE, BABY!!!! ee-YEEEEAAAAAHHH!!!!

The fuck you staring at?

BHC

i haven't done a damn thing all day... i got up at like, 3pm... which wasn't a bad thing, considering this shitpile of ice and snow shut the whole fucking county down last night... seriously, our road in front of the house didn't even get plowed today, except by some yokel with a big plow on his own truck...

i got up, had grilled cheese sammiches and tomato soup :) best damn thing to eat on cold ass wintery days like today... and i put banana peppers on the grilled cheese... talk about fucking tasty...

i just sort of laid around the house, did nothing... played alot of deer hunter 2005... more of the same really... i did register for some classes though, so i should be set to go for next semester... i got into 4 classes, and combined, they don't make any fucking sense... Survey of English Literature II, Intro to Philosophy, College Physics II, and Acting II.... i guess if i could find a 17th century play written by an english physicist, i could act it out in my acting class... but that's about the only way to connect these four classes!!!! hopefully i won't run into any problems with my grades from this semester though... they aren't that great... i'm sure i failed BIO... and they have this thing called academic suspension....... :shock: not looking forward to finding these things out....

i restrung my guitar tonight... needed it BADLY... the strings on it were rusted and covered in a "funk".... i slightly modified the nut (the bridge at the head of the guitar) to keep the 3rd string from sticking when i tune, but i think i overdid it... now the string rests on the first fret, and i get a little fretbuzz from it :? damn

hope i don't ahve to replace my nut....... LOL

the grocery store was out of ramen..... HOW THE FUCK DO YOU RUN OUT OF RAMEN!?!??!?!?!?!?

sorry...

so i'm going to try to go to work tomorrow morning for a few hours... if i can make it out... then around 3ish, i need to head over to h'burg and meet up with john and his crew for this movie thing... i haven't even read the script again... i need to do that, i really want to do good with this movie! so untill next time:

we'll meet again, when both our cars collide...

BHC

well, that was a fun-filled day! definitely blogworthy!

i hung out around the house for a little while, and no, i didn't go back to sleep like i wanted to... i bit my lip, and went to work for a few hours. it's not like i don't want to go, but i'm tired of the training stuff, and i really would prefer to be on a set schedule, it's making it pschologically hard on me to go to work when i'm technically not "scheduled" to be there...

anyways, work for just a little while, and then scott calls out of the blue and offers up this whole line of fun shit to do :) so i didn't pass him up on it! i met up with him and we hung out on the college campus for a little while, with a few other people, who i admittedly don't hang out with often enough... i had a lot of fun hanging with holly and karmen tonight, as well as pierce, and ryan too :)

scott, ryan, pierce and me all went to the mall for a bit of MallRatting, which was fun, untill we hit the Hot Topic... that's usually the highlight of my mall trips... not today, no... i recall having a conversation with Val not too long ago concerning the powerful effect that songs have on the memory... i told her that the best thing you can do is avoid those songs taht cause you pain at all cost... get new music, buy new CDs, change musical styles altogether... but i warned her, that no matter how hard you try, one day you will hear that song again... and when you do, you'll cry...

well, i cried today, over a song, rather a whole CD of songs... it's been months since i'd heard that song... and all the pain is still there... lying dormant, waiting for that catalyst to push it out of sleep... for the first time in a long time, i didn't go in the Hot Topic today...
(enough of that shit)

so we finished pointlessly walking around the mall, and went back to campus, where we went to see some of our friends from earlier in an acting class... they were doing scenes from plays and such as their finals for the semester... my friends Pierce and Ryan did a scene from the upcoming movie "The Producers", Karmen and another student did a love scene from "Biloxi Blues", and Holly and two students did a pretty fucked up scene from something called fables... never heard of it, sounded kinda dumb, but holly did a good job, regardless :)

we all headed to Pizz Hut after that, and had a few hours of good laughs, and two large pizzas. we all kinda of parted after that, but scott, ryan, pierce and myself went to the mall theater to see "The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe".... it was an EXCELLENT FUCKING MOVIE!!!!! i'm gonna have to sit down and read the books now! (i was a little sad to find out that lion witch wardrobe isn't the first book in the series... i was hoping they'd do all of them in order, kinda like the harry potter movies, but LWW was the only book i'd really heard of, not knowing it's like the third book or something...)

so i had a great day, when in fact it started off pretty crappy, and had the potential to turn into a disaster halfway through the day, and it STILL came out being worthy of sharing with you, my loyal fans :)

BHC

 bleh, i'm having another one of those days...

i just want to go back to bed... i want my mom to get off my ass about classes and work... it's the holidays, for chrissake, i'm thoroughly entitled to lay around and do nothing for a day or two... still, i need to go to work, and get a straight answer out of somebody regarding my paycheck... which i should have by now... seems no one knows when the last payday was... just once i'd like to go in there and talk to the same person TWICE... granted i'm still the *new guy*... no one there knows me yet, except one of the shift supervisors and one of the 2nd shift cashiers... and she was the one trying to hook me up with her daughter the other night... 21 years old, nurse, doesn't party, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't get MY VOTE... not to mention, i've hardly been there two weeks, and this woman (who's no looker herself, mind you) is trying to fix me up with her daughter, whom i've never even seen before... i told her i was single, but currently intrested in *someone else* :) kinda ended the conversation there...

seriously, i don't know if i'm sick, or what, but i just want to get back in my bed, turn the heaters up, and just sleep for a day or two... i'm just so tired... mom says i'm not getting enough sleep... which i think is bullshit, cuz i get plenty of sleep... i just don't go to bed at 11pm and be out of bed by 8am... that's ridiculous... but i still get like, the same amount of sleep... i just go to bed between 2-4 am and sleep untill afternoon... like 1-2pm at the latest... i think that might be too much sleep, but it's definitely not too little sleep...

more monster bucks on Deer Hunter 2005 :) i dropped a huge 12-pointer last night with a crossbow from 75 yards... non-typical rack too, with perfectly spaced double drop tines :) scored like 218 points on the B&C scale... prolly my best whitetail ever :) maybe i'll post a picture later...

anyways, i'm going to work in about an hour (2:30-3pm), which won't be too fun, but if i don't throw up, it'll be better than my last night at work :?

BHC

stole this from ang, who stole it from Tink, who got it on MySpace, so it's been around... lol enjoy all!

well, i just went to fail my BIO exam... i KNOW i haven't been to that class in forever now... i walked in and my professor had a beard... not like, a 5 o'clock shadow at 10 pm the next day, i mean a full grown, grizzley adams face funk...

the last time i saw him, he was clean shaven... babyface and shit....

:shock:

so yes, i prolly totally bombed that, except for the question about the drive mechanism on a shaft-driven 1989 honda shadow... but that's really only because it was the freebie question and he actually put "this is the RIGHT answer" next to it....

i was up all night last night again, but this time it wasn't for lack of trying to sleep... i did actually lay in bed for about 3 hours, rolling around, trying to get comfortable, trying to sleep, but it just wasn't happening. so i got back up and logged on to my laptop (a risky maneuver at 5 am when you have a very noisy laptop and a mother who wakes up when snow hits her window because it's too LOUD), and to my surprise, and her's too apparently, Angie was still online :)

we talked for what seemed like forever, and shared some intresting thoughts with each other... i told her i was thinking the other day about buying a tracFone so i could call her sometime... :) i think it would rock! while we were talking, i downloaded Coheed and Cambria's first CD (under that name, although they did alot of those songs under the name "Shabutie") The Second Stage Turbine Blade... i haven't listened to all of it yet, but it sounds pretty good so far... you can definitely tell Claudio hadn't quite gotten his vocals completely under control though lol... anyways, back to Ang... i stayed up with her untill about 6 am, she logged off and hasn't come back... I MISS YOU ANG!!!! but i played Deer Hunter 2005 untill about 7am, then took a shower and headed out for my exam.

here's what i learned from the exam: it only takes 30 minutes to totally bomb a BIO exam.....

this prolly won't be my last post of the day, so keep in touch :)

and enjoy the new music video i have up, it's currently my favorite MuDvAyNe song, from the Saw II soundtrack. this is the same song that i learned to play by accident one night awhile back.. i remember making a post about it... enjoy :)

BHC

i never want to see another cup of coffee as long as i live....

ever want to just curl up under the blankets and not come out for a few days? that's about how i feel right now... i stayed up untill about 2am this morning talking to ang :) but i had to crash then, because i had been awake the past 48 hours... i got up around 1 or so, and ended up getting back in bed untill about 3:30... i finally got up, and did a bunch of shit around the house (we put up the xmas tree last night too), and then headed off to work...

i'm still doing all the computer based training shit, but i'm almost finished... it's hours and hours of staring at a computer screen, reading text... yay... and during this time i have nothing better to do than drink coffee and watch the seconds tick by... i had very little to eat today, and gauging by my previous experiance with a mass amount of coffee in a short period of time on an empty stomach, i don't know what i was thinking, but i just kept filling my cup up....

then i started to get that feeling... sort of weakness all over, sweaty, cold, clamy.. i knew if i didn't get something on my stomach i was gonna be sick... so i went out and ordered something to eat... unfortunately, they only had one person working in the kitchen, and she was backed up with orders... it only took about 4 minutes i guess to make my stuff, but it was about 3 minutes too long... i headed straight for the men's room and puked up all the nothing i ate earlier today...

needless to say, i didn't finish my training today.... yay for something to look forward to on wednesday...

why not tomorrow you ask? well that's because i have two exams lined up, one of which i'm almost positive i'm going to fail... i don't mind the psych one so much, espeically as it's later in the evening, but as far as i'm concerned, BIO class can go suck an egg...

so now i'm sitting here in my room, sipping coca-cola, trying to keep down the hot dog i just ate, and generally feeling pretty shitty... i'd really like to have someone to curl up under the covers with, though, and you know who you are :wink:

BHC

welcome to the Peace Talks concerning recent events here on my blog... here's how it works...

I TALK

YOU MAKE PEACE

any questions?

good, straight to business then... i feel no differently towards any of the participants in the recent bouts of fighting taking place in the comment realms of my blog than i did prior to those said incidents... Allygirl, i don't hate you for coming in here, and trashtalking people and such, in the name of defending your right to free speech. it makes no difference to me what you say to people on here, wether i'm affiliated with them or not, all i ask is that the back and forth bickering take place somewhere other than on my blog. DayTripper, i don't hate you for starting shit with Allygirl, or for properly defending yourself against malicious verbal attacks from her, all i ask is that the back and forth bickering take place somewhere other than on my blog. SenguTheWolf, i don't hate you for defending your beliefs of the holiday season, especially when attacked by a pessimistic non-believer such as St.Jimmy, and as much as i enjoyed your views on the Easter holiday, with special concern towards chocolatey-marshmallow rabbit......... fetusi..... all i ask is that the back and forth bickering take place somewhere other than on my blog. St. Jimmy, i don't hate you for continuing the ongoing debate as to the real "reason for the season" and in fact, if it's your desire to prance naked around fires in a forest, calling to the gods, and celebrating the coming of longer daylight hours, then so be it... all i ask is that the back and forth bickering take place somewhere other than on my blog.....

basically guys, all i'm saying is, please try and get along... have a drink, chillax a bit... holy fuck i just said chillax... but you get my point... granted all the fueding has given me something to read the past few days, but it's begining to get old... i'm not saying that all respective parties must surrender arms and hug thy fellow neighbor and shit, if you really must insist on continuing, it's not my place to tell you to stop standing up for what you.... stand... for?... Hmmmm so in closing

all i ask is that the back and forth bickering take place somewhere other than on my blog

Thank you all for your cooperation, i really do appreciate it :)

BHC

i could really go for a bacardi breezer right now, you know......

BHC

ok, so st jimmy is totally cleared of all charges regarding the "who is terri schiavo" incident... we have a new winner..... :?

on a less related, awesome note, JOLT COLA IS BACK, BITCHES!!!! that's right, the cola ripped from the shelves due to it's high caffiene content is BACK, available at Sheetz Gas locations all up and down the east coast :) hot damn!!!! oh, it comes in five flavors : red, blue (yes those are flavors, shut up), ultra (green), cherry bomb, and the original cola... just remember, RED GOOD, GREEN BAD....

Anyone know how much a real steel Glock Model 33 .357SIG costs??? i was going to get an airsoft gas gun modeled after this exquisite piece of Austrian bad-assery (the gas gun was actually modeled after the Model 26 version, which is 9mm, or .40 S&W [10mm], but who's splitting hairs? it's a gun!), but i read a "gas gun care manual" on a trusted airsoft website, and discovered that gas guns, while they have all the characteristics and qualities of a real-steel handgun, are a bitch and a half to maintain... the must be oiled CONSTANTLY, the mags which hold the gas resevoirs can't be stored with gas in them long term, but they can't be stored empty either, the gun can't be fired in cold temps, hell, you can't even fire it untill the mags warms back up after you fill it... it's just too much fucking trouble to bother with... i'll still be getting the spring powered version of the same gun, but i thought it'd be nice as a 21st b-day present to myself to go out and actually by the real steel deal :)

there are like, three seperate battles taking place in the comment realms of my blog... i got st jimmy and sengu arguing about the real reason for the season, apparently allygirl and day are getting into it, and i don't even know what that's about (AND I DON'T WANT TO KNOW), and day seems like she's mad at me for talking to bacardibreezer (ang) so much... i don't want you to be jealous abby... come talk to me about it???

oi, i thought the drama would stop when i left DQ....

lol

BHC

1000 views today, roadtrip to ohio talk last night, richard pryor dead, McCarthy dead, hostages in iraq, found long lost game title, still missing the game title i was looking for in the first place, got up at 5pm, wasted the day, going to work at 10pm to finish my training...

oh yeah, and leprechauns rule...

that is all

BHC

HOLY CRAP this couldn't be any better!!!! i just got back from the coffee house, and learned some fantastic news!!! first off, i got to see john, who i haven't seen in a while.. he and a friend are big into the independent film scene and are working on *several* movies... they have all the gear, the ability, the talent... and they offered me a LEADING ROLE in one of their movies!!! it's about a guy who moves into a house, which is haunted by it's former owner's ghost (That's my role!!!)... the ghost sort of befriends the guy, and when the guys life starts tumbling, the ghost convinces him to kill himself... but when the guy does swallow the pills, the ghost repossess his body, to finish living his own life, which he cut short also by suicide... think The Skeleton Key, only ALOT cooler...

also, john mentioned that a few of his buddies are going to a special effects training camp in the spring... in Ohio... and you know what's in Ohio??? Lovers (if you believe Hawthorne Heights!)!!!!!! so i'm thinking, FUCKING ROAD TRIP!!!!!! john and me will be going up there, maybe as long as a week... fuck work, fuck school, even though i dunno what's going on with either of those at the time of the trip, but believe me, special arrangements WILL BE MADE!!!!! I'm so totally fucking stoked!!! this couldn't have come at a better time!!! I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!

so i don't know where my education is headed, i'm not getting alot of hours at the new job, but in spite of all that, i'm having a really good moment in my life :)

I could get used to this....

BHC

ok so another long night last night, stayed up REAL late talking to *someone very special* :wink: she know's who she is... we could have stayed up talking for hours, but when i looked over my shoulder and saw the sun coming up, i thought it'd be a good idea to get some shuteye...

so, it was about 5 am, and i found myself sitting, alone and in the dark, and reciting what i could remember of this poem i know. it's my favorite poem, and i was just talking to her about getting a tattoo inspired by this poem... funny, we started talking about it because of her talking about how some guys treat women... i quoted "it's every man's purpose in life to make every woman in his life as happy as he possibly can".... i told her, you know who said that? Me, at the ripe old age of ten, reading about Edgar Allan Poe with my english class... i said that to the whole class.... she got a big kick out of it, someone so young saying something so ahead of his time...

so we started talking about EAP's "The Raven" which has always been a favorite poem of mine, and the insipration for a tattoo i hope to be getting soon. so i hadn't read the poem in a while, so i looked it up. i hope you all enjoy the poem as much as i do, :)

The Raven

BHC
"Nevermore"

hrmm, another pointless day of nothing... although i did go to work today... yay for another two hours pay for sitting in front of a computer screen... i was going to stay longer, but started feeling a little sick after about two hours, so i came home and laid down for a bit...

started to feel better... got online, checked all the usual blogs and other sites... looked at my Facebook page... realized that John called me this morning, and apparently we have plans for tomorrow... that i agreed to... huh?

see, here's the problem... i can't wake up in the mornings... i mean like, yeah ppl get up they hit the snooze, they "have trouble waking up".... but those ppl are out of bed, and going on with their lives by the third time that snooze goes off... you see, i hit the snooze button too.... every fifteen minutes for three to four hours straight....

seriously

i'm so incoherent, i don't even bother to turn the alarm off... i just hit the biggest button my numb fingers can find... which happens to be the damn snooze button... i've found that i recieve about 50% of my daily phone calls in the morning, while i'm still asleep... i answer the phone, asleep... i talk, i carry on coherent converstaion with the person on the oter end, i sound wide awake, i can fool 90% of the ppl that call me into thinking i've been awake since dawn... the problem is, i hang up the phone, plug it back in, and go back to sleep (that is, assuming i was ever awake)..... and i finally get up and WAKE up... and i've totally forgotten the convo ever took place...

so now, john's going to call me tomorrow, or worse show up at my house while i'm still asleep, and remind me that, oh yeah, we had plans...

so folks, here's my only major accomplishment for the week : i got my friend hooked on Harry Potter... he now owns all the currently released movies, and is now in the middle of the second book, in the six currently released... a year ago, he HATED the notion of Harry Potter...

so everybody visit StJimmy.tblog.com and congratualte him on converting to harrypotter-ism :)

gnight all

BHC

sorry about the past few posts.... i think the seasonal depression has finally kicked in... why is xmas the "most wonderful time, of the year"??? i mean, it's winter for chrissakes.... studies show that depression rates go up... so does suicide rates... violent crimes increase slightly as well... and then they tell you to have a holly jolly xmas??? fuck no!

anyways. another lazy day... i didn't mae it into work, but i really need to go... i guess not actually having my name on a schedule written in stone is sort of messing with me... see, i just started there, and their schedules get done three weeks at a time, and my name was just entered into the system... so it'll be about another week before they have me on a set schedule... untill then, it's come in on your own free will based... and having that much liberty concerning work is kinda screwing me up... i don't know when to go in, i don't know when to leave... it's fucking weird...

so i did go to my psych class tonight... god awful boring shit... i feel asleep..... SEVERAL times... i helped a good friend of mine with a report for BIO class... turns out learning all that stuff about Microsoft Excel really does come in handy... well, at least, she thought so...

i need to get some real easy, simple short classes for next semester, to bring up my GPA.... it wasn't good coming into the semester to begin with, and i haven't been doing all that well in my classes, so getting some easy ones for next semester will assure that i can bring up the GPA, and still have time for work... which will be a major plus, cuz now i'm making $8.50 an hour!!!

dl'd a whole bunch of new songs to my MP3 player yesterday and today.... three whole albums in fact... Atreyu's two albums (Suicide Notes and Butterfly Kisses, and The Curse) and Mudvayne's newest album, Lost and Found. to those who aren't using it already, or to those who want a good P2P sharing program, i recommend LimeWire... it's fast, and they don't ask for any personal info, so it's not coming under review by copyright shit yet... so use it while you can!!!

all for now, maybe more later

BHC

the best part of waking up? apparently, it's getting a ration of shit shoved down your throat and made to feel like you're pissing your life away, and not doing a damn thing to stop it...

well, maybe i am.

i don't know what i want to do with my life... i look at my parents, and i see two people who have thrown their lives away to their jobs and to money, and they don't seem to happy about it. why the hell would i want to do the same??? yes money is important to me, but only because you can't do much without it. but right now, i'm not sure where i want to be in 5, 10 years... i can say that i haven't given it much thought, but it does matter to me... i just don't want to be so damn conventional... i have really no reason to believe in the education system... my mom worked her ass off in college, paid her own fucking way, got a degree in teaching, specializing in young, special needs students... and she has nothing to fucking show for it. she works in a medical office that has nothing to do with the education she recieved, answering fucking telephones and typing all day, for what is obviously not enough money... my dad took three classes at a community college, never graduated, and makes damn near twice the money my mom makes. he's working in a field that he's been in since before i was born, and it's his life... it's what he does.. he brings work home with him sometimes... so obviously, the education system here has proven little to me over the years. it's shown me that you don't have to go to school your whole fucking life to have a good job.. it's shown me that if you do, you won't always end up doing what you paid for. it's shown me that standardized testing is bullshit, and a student who studied their ass off is just as likely to pass as a student who shows up to the test high on pot.

i'm sorry i have no faith in education... to those of you who are going to tell me to stay in school, go to college, get a degree, because it'll help me later in life, thank you, but keep it to yourself today... i'm not really wanting to entertain notions of a better future for myself right now, so if you could just keep those comments down, i'd really appreciate it...

here, i'll give you something to comment on... as for the reast of my day, well, i haven't had a rest of the day yet... i got up when mom came home and started yelling at me...

have a nice fucking day.

BHC

i think i have insomnia again... mom thinks that i just have a horible sleep schedule... and i think i do, but i think it's horrible because of the insomnia! and i can't stick to regular schedules, it just fucks with my head to have to do the same thing at the same time everyday... i'm like a child's toy.... i can't fall asleep until my body is completely run down, but then i'm out until my batteries recharge... the problem is that my batteries must take about 12-14 hours to recharge... i can't even wake up in the mornings, so i end up sleeping in, which means i stay up later the next night... GAH!!!! i fucking hate sleep.... i'll sleep when i'm dead...

DayTripper never logged on tonight.. and i wanted to talk to her... so that sucks...

the song you're listening to is called "Lip Gloss and Black", it's by Atreyu. this style of music is becoming more and more appealing to me as of late... weird, because if you'd been playing this same stuff a year ago, i'd have told you to tun that shit off...

watch the video for it, if you can... (in know, it's really tiny) the video revolves around a scene in a bedroom... a guy is tied to a chair, not in a really kinky way, just roped hands behind his back.. and the girl is seducing him... i was just thinking to myself that i wouldn't mind being that guy... just before everything goes all violent, S&M and shit, i mean i could take it, but that's not my bag, and doesn't get me off or anything, so for me it'd ruin the experience...

that totally came out of nowhere...

i went to bed last night to keep myself from eating... literally... it was like, 5am, and i was starting to get hungry, but i knew if i ate, the energy from the food would kick in, and i definitely wouldn't sleep....

i am all about this random shit today... i guess i just want to blog, but i have nothing to blog about... i've had nothing to do all day (mom would argue differently on that though), it's just been an extremely lazy sunday... of course, it's now a really lazy monday morning...

goo goo ka joob

BHC

ok, so the ex found my blog again... but she calmly sent me a message wishing to bury the hatchet so to speak, and i told her that i was fine with it... i explained myself, and i think we're back on non-homicidal terms now, so she'll be reading my blog, and leaving nice comments, and i'm ok with it... and i don't want to got through the trouble of making another fucking blog...

so last night i picked up my guitar, which happend to be tuned to DropC cuz i'd been learning some new Atreyu stuff (like the song you're hearing right now:)), and just happend to hoit an open powerchord on it... the same chord is used in like, EVERY SINGLE METAL SONG out there, but for some reason, it only brought to mind one song... and in about five minutes, i'd totally figured out how to play "Forget to Remember" from Mudvayne!!! withOUT looking at tabs!!!! it was crazy!!! my first stroke of guitar genius in months!!! it was kool :)

also, stayed up really late talking to daytripper again ;) heard a song today on the radio that made me think of her... lol and all the convo's we've had... but i think i'll keep that song's title and meaning under wraps, lol

sundays are so boring... i had nothing to do all day...

they're calling for somewhere in the neighborhood of 6-8 inches of snow by tuesday.... YAY SNOW!!! i have only seen one snowfall this year so far, and it started melting the same night it fell, so it kinda sucked....

i ate my mom's pizza, and she got pissed :) it was funny, untill she made me go out and buy her another one....

don't forget.. i have new pictures in the Webshots portfolio!!! enjoy!!!

this is enough random shit for today i think, but i'll prolly be back later... lol

BHC

so i took them up on the offer and went to see Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire. glad i did, i suppose, cuz i' really wanted to see the movie in theaters. unfortunately i couldn't find anyone to come with me to see it, so i ended up sitting with my mom in the theater... not that it's a bad thing or anything... besides, she bought me popcorn :)

watching the movie, i remembered why i had a problem with this particular book in the series. i've read them all so far, and i think this one, while it's not my least favorite, is one that i won't read again soon. Harry, Ron, and Hermione are turning 14 years old in this movie, and with the age comes the associated drama that envelopes all young teenagers. J.K. Rowling does an AWESOME job of capturing the essence of the struggles of been a teen in the books. i remember reading it, and actually relating so well with the characters that i found myself in a foul mood for the length of the book! it was like my own friends were constantly quarreling and bickering in my own life... you know how you feel when your friends are at each others throats over stupid things, and you just have to sit there and watch it? the BOOK made me feel those emotions... it's quite powerful... and the movie isn't much different. i don't think it's the best movie in the series yet, but it was still very good. ended on a shitty note, i think, but alas...

and of course, i had another opportunity to go out in public, so i took full advantage of it, and dressed up in my gothic attire ;) as sad as it is, i think part of the reason i dress like that is for the attention it attracts... which totally defeats the purpose so to speak, but of course the main reason i dress that way, is because i like the way i look in it... i wear what i want, that's the point.

i took more pics tonight, and i put them in the same album as the pics from last night's sleasy coffee house adventure, called "Pics for Abby" (DayTripper7), so you can find them there, the link's on the left, you know the drill...

comment!!!

BHC

it's another day, nothing to do. i went out last night with some friends to do coffee and such. i don't know why, but i dressed up for it... like i was just wearing pants and a shirt, nothing special, i could have gone dressed like that... but i got into an emo-type outfit, and went that way... on the bright side, i took pics of myself when i got home.. posted them for you guys to see, as well as pics from a party i had last week. (those are the fun ones :) )

stayed up untill damn near 6 am talking to DayTripper... she's too kool... oh and i dyed my hair again... back in black, you could say... so now i can do the goth thing, no problem.

and today i've been invited to go see Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. i still haven't made up my mind yet... i want to go see it, but i don't wanna go with my mom and sis and my step sis... just not the company i'd like to have for the movie... but this is prolly the only chance i'll get to see it for free, as dad already bought my ticket... shit... i hate making decisions... maybe i can call someone up? 

oh yeah, i have no one to call...

BHC

For all the Boondock Saints fans out there, enjoy...

BHC

ok, so to everyone that read my post last night, thank you for all your kind words.

so here's what happened. kelly and i haven't really talked to each other in about a week... and everytime we did talk, online, it felt more and more distant, until last night i finally asked her what was up. she explained why she'd been feeling this way for awhile, and she told me that she had cheated on me. she said she kept it from me for so long because she was only afraid i'd be mad at her, which would have been a very real possibilty, except for the fact that i couldn't find myself to be mad. i wasn't mad at her, or anyone for that matter. granted, i was a little hurt, and a little depressed to hear it, but it was like something in me was keeping me from really being angry, like someone in my head was telling me it was no big deal, forget about it, move on...

i've been cheated on before, and even if i hadn't been, i know enough cases of it to know that this is probably not a typical response. but here it was, clear as glass, staring me in the face. it was 2 in the morning, i had just recreated my blog for the third fucking time... i said, screw it i'm not going to fight this so-called emotion. we did talk for a little while, but she said she really wanted to discuss it further face to face with me. i said that was fine, and told her to call me in the morning so we could get together and talk...

then i sort of lost it... i mean, i kept my cool and remained very calm, but i ended up very very drunk... and more depressed than before... that had more to do with the music i think than the alcohol though... Hawthorne Heights... as i stated last night, that music would have happy ppl slashing their wrists in no time (some ppl mistook that line to mean I was slashing my wrists... i assure you all, i had no intention of hurting myself last night) i ended up drinking myself to sleep (rather, i had three beers, and took a nap) with the music still playing on my laptop.

i must have only been out for a few hours, because i distinctly remember looking at the clock at around 7:40, and i passed out sometime around 5...

kelly did call me. after a lengthy discussion on the phone about where we should meet, i got up, checked my blog, then went to DQ for my last paycheck ($130 for a week of work... not too bad i guess) then met her over at the Waffle House.

we sat there, looking at each other across the table... every so often, smiling and laughing for no reason... this was no laughing matter here, but somewhere in our heads, i guess someone was telling a joke... this awkwardness went on for nearly 15 minutes before i broke silence with some thoughts... we didn't really even discuss the "incident" that provoked this meeting, but we did discuss some important things... most importantly the fact that niether of us wanted to lose the other's friendship. i straight up told her, that after a night of drinking and thinking, that maybe the reason i wasn't mad was because i didn't see the sense in risking our friendship over something that happened in our basically "non-exsistent relationship"... it seemed stupid and actually immature to throw everything out the window at once, which was why i was willing to let the cheat thing slide, if it meant we could still be friends...

she was surprised at my restraint i think, but she thought it sounded like a good explanation, and i think she was happy i saw things the way i did... i am too, in fact... i left the waffle house this morning happier with her than i was when we came in, and even then, i wasn't mad at her...

to quote her, "so i made you depressed and happy at the same time? you're weird..."

:)

BHC

i don't know how the fuck to feel... i've been drinking, i've been listening to emo (Hawthorne Heights - The Silence in Black and White), i've been thinking, i've been sitting in my room, staring at candle... but for some reason, i can't feel the way i'm supposed to be feeling...

she told me straight up she "cheated" on me... well, no, no she didn't, not in so many words... she said "i was with someone else"...

think of the typical male response when posed with the situation that his significant other is seeing another man.

now, to quote a famous Jedi, think of "... the planet it's furthest from."

then you'd have me. i'm supposed to be angry!!! mad at her, mad at him, mad at the world in general! i'm supposed to drink myself stupid, and go get a gun. and then take care of the problem myself, like a fucking man.... granted i've had a few drinks, but i'm still not mad. the only thing i'm angry about is that i'm NOT ANGRY... what the hell is going on? this is not the feelings i've felt before when i found out my girl was with another man... hell, those times felt right... i WAS mad, i WAS angry... i'm hurt right now, which i guess is a normal response.. but what i don't understand, is why i feel like it's no big deal... why do i feel like i can overlook this one minor incident, especially if it means we can still be together? if not just for the sake of preserving our friendship, i would willingly pretend like this never happened....

what's worse... we haven't even been "together" for three weeks yet... not nearly enough time for me to fuck things up... so now i really have to wonder what's going on????

what scares me most, maybe more than the fact that i don't seem to care that she was "with someone else," is that, when asked why, she said she was lonely, and he was there.... and even after hearing that, as delicately as she put it, i still feel like i can get over it... i haven't known her long enough to have fallen in love with her, much less have been DATING her that long... so that's not the attachment that's keeping me from seeing what this really is.... is it the fact that i really don't think i have anyone else in my life right now?

i mean, my first true love, who told me she hasn't met another guy like me, let alone another guy period, since we broke up (two years ago), has finally found a man that makes her happy... and seeing her happy, makes me happy... but i told her last night, that even with how happy she is with him, i'm dying inside a little bit... she was the first girl i ever truely loved, and i was her first love as well... and we had our reasons for splitting (and by that i mean, i had my reason, which was that i was an asshole), and we wouldn't change that part of our lives if we could , but now even she's happy.

there is no one else in my life right now... kelly is all that i have... and she seems to value our relationship a bit less than i anticipated... please kelly if you read this, i promise you i'm not mad... i'm just drunk and depressed and confused about my own feelings on this whole thing...

i just want to talk to you again...

ok i think my drunken emo cry for help is done... on a brigther note, if you ever feel like killing yourself, and you can't quite get into the mood, get yourself some Hawthorne Heights... you'll be slashing your wrists in no time....

good night everyone... i love you all

BHC

Yet another fantastic piece to add to my ever growing arsenal...

oh yeah, baby...

New from UTG, just in time for Xmas, is the M324 Sniper Rifle. An impressive weapon that actually lives up to the title of "Sniper Rilfe", and is capable of engaging targets at distances of 170 feet!!! fires .2g 6mm BBs at a fantastic325 feet per second, and has a detachable 25 round box magazine. Includes the folding metal bipod and sling shown, and the 5th Gen 4x32 scope and compact mount only add a modicum of dollars to the overall price:)

that'll make me pretty fucking happy for xmas! then i could go around the neighborhood and play "beltway sniper" !!!!

just kidding of course...

BHC

ok, so here we are, my NEW new home in the blogosphere... my neighbors are prolly getting pretty pissed off, but i appreciate them putting up with my shit... :)

had my first true night of work tonight... if you missed it, i finally left the DQ, and got hired at Sheetz Gas Chain in f'ville... but anyways.. just planned on going in for an hour or two of video training... i got more than i bargained for... after watch three training videos, the manager gave me a uniform and a hat, and shoved my ass on the register floor, and said, "have fun!"

:shock:

are you fucking kidding?!??!! i've had three hours of training!!! but he stuck me with another cashier, and she helped me out with alot of things... and surprisingly enough, i had fun!!! it was actually the first time in a long time i remember haveing a good time at work... granted i always said i loved my job at DQ, but i didn't always have fun ringing up orders, dealing with bitchy customers, and spilling ice cream all over the place... so i ended up being there for 5.25 hours (exactly) tonight... should look nice on the pay check!!!!

well, this caps it for the night i guess... one last thing.. my apologies to anyone who read the evil ass comment on my last blog with the 716 account.... i want to assure everyone that everything that person said was false, and malicious. i just simply have a very angry ex girlfriend who decided to get one of her more immature friends to cuss me out... that's all i have to say on it, but please, feel free to talk amongst yourselves...

have a nice night :)

BHC

well, folks, here we go again... exGF found the NEW blog, so here i go, making another one, changing my life so that she won't be a part of it anymore... hopefully it fucking works this time!!!!

this should be the last time i have to do this, and i ask that all of you please do not link my NEWEST blog on your blogpages... i'm trying to leave no paper trail at all on this thing... in fact, leave the 716 version of my blog (as opposed to this, the 047 version) on your blogs... in a vain attempt to confuse the fuck out of her... :)

Thanks again:)

BHC