that has got to be...

 ...the WEIRDEST SHIT I'VE EVER dealt with in a normal workday!!!!

seriously, i got to work, thinking i was 5 minutes late, turns out i clocked in 1 minute early... then, the first customer i ring up, a blonde, good looking, has a six-pack of Budweiser in hand... OF COURSE i asked her for I.D. ... then she just looks at me, smiles, and says " congrats, you just won five dollars...", hands me a green slip of paper, and walks out, leaving the beer on the counter... i was dumbfounded... what the fuck just happened??? so i went to my manager, and tried to speak... but i guess my brain was overloaded with all the stupid i'd just witnessed, so i just showed her the paper, and went "der!".... she says, "oh you got a green slip, awesome! lemme get you a gift card..."

WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?!?!?!?!??!

so after i freaked out, she explained to me that i had just passed a state sponsered ABC check on the store... and that i had won a $5 sheetz card for asking for I.D.... pretty kool, considering the alternative was a red card, and possible, no, make that definite termination...

so, then i find out the maintenence crew is here to change the filters on the gas pumps... pretty standard procedure for the end of the month... 3 guys show up, and tape off 5 pumps at a time, change the filters, and then move to the next set of pumps... usually, after they are done, the pumps run faster than before... only this time, they were running slower, IF they were pumping gasoline AT ALL... which is a complaint i've never heard before... they ran like this for almost 2 hours... and, as would be expected, people were pissed... when i say the pumps run slow, i mean that it can take over 5 minutes to pump out $1.00 in fuel... so they are rightly angry, but there's really not alot i can do about it, right?

so there's about 923750912835 customers in the store, when i hear another one of my co-workers telling my manager that there are no lights in the bathrooms.... either of them... another weird thing for the day... we're rushed as shit, and of course, i'm the only one actually running a register, because Barb is too busy running around outside with binoculars, taking down the license plate of every car that pulls up to a pump (we have a problem with drive-offs, and Barb is sort of our, unofficial solution to the problem)

then, steven, the same co-worker monitoring the bathroom lighting for any number of reasons, comes back up front, shakey, sweaty, looks like he's freaking out/needs a coke fix... i ask him what's up, and he tells me they just had to manually shutdown one of the fuseboxes in the electric room in the back, because it was SMOKING... and also, "popping loudly"... which says to me, fuses are breaking at a furious pace...

about another 30 minutes go by, in which time, our register screens stop taking credit cards... i mean, credit, debit, atm, ebt, even our own gift cards would not work in the registers... eventually, after spending time with on the phone with storehelp, who management has been on the phone with ALL DAY for all sorts of problems, we got them to accept cards as credit charges only... i'm starting to think this shit is getting pretty fucking weird...

about that time, the whole store flickers... all the lights shut off for about 3 seconds... if you've ever been in a public place when the power goes out, you might know that 99% of ppl don't generally give a shit, and continue their business... well, todays we had that other 1% in the store, at the exact same time the power went out for a sec... and man, she was FREAKING THE FUCK OUT... anyways, power comes back on, seconds later... pyscho lady calms down, people get on with their lives...

just then, the power goes out.... again... and i look up to see Scott, standing in the doorway, with a huge fucking smile on his face... "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO, SCOTT!!??!?!" of course, i knew this wasn't his fault, but the customers still in the store actually thought it was.... lol... so we waited....

and waited...

and still no power... now we're thinking something has seriously gone wrong... we start following power outtage procedure, we lock the doors, get the rest of the customers out, we each get issued a flashlight, and we wait... when from the back room, more loud popping ensues from the fuse room... we sit back and we watch, as the entire store systematically shuts down individual sectors, not unlike a cancer individually shutting down each of the bodies vital functions...

we finally get all the customers out of the store, just in time for the gas pumps to turn off, and then, we are ensconced in darkness... only a few scattered fluoro and emergency lights are still on, the flouro bulbs dimming quickly... not a sound in the whole store... the hum from all the behind the scenes equipment was gone... the coolers were no longer refridgerating, the beercave was dark and no longer being chilled... till all that remained was a single emergency lamp in the dining area...

and with our flashlights on, and claw- and ballpeen-hammers at the ready, we waited...

virginia power finally shows up... and this is what the guy says, swear to god... "i'm not touching a damn thing, because i don't wanna be liable for it, but you guys have some serious problems with your power here, and it's not on our end... you've got full power coming through the ground lines at every port, but once it gets inside your building, it's just not going anywhere..."

so they had to call a guy to come from damn near 3 hours away to fix it... it MIGHT be up and running by tomorrow... MIGHT...

well, i can live with might... but that was the weirdest shit i've EVER dealt with in the work place... BY FAR...

hope you enjoyed this rather long post, and for those of you who wished me a "get well" all thanks, i'm feeling much better, despite a scratchy throat and lingering cough :)

BHC